Imago Andei

Catching Up and Memories of my Grandfather

Sorry the blog has been neglected the last week or so.  Life got crazy.  My grandfather passed this weekend and I was out at the funeral Tuesday and Wednesday and had class on top of all of that.  I hope to have some good posts up in the next couple days.

I was pretty close to my grandfather as a kid.  I spent many weeks during the summer with him and my grandmother including a 6 week RV trip through Alaska when I was 7.  My grandmother asked me to speak at the funeral and I wanted to share with you all what I said.

I feel blessed to be able to say that Louis Wells was my grandfather.  When I was a kid I spent a lot of time with him and grandma, taking adventures in their RV, swimming in their pool, and spending evenings watching the news.  I didn’t say all of these activities were fun for a kid.

 

Growing up, granddad had a large influence on my life and I would attribute many of my characteristics today to the time I spent with him over the years.  One of the most meaningful things granddad taught me was the value of an adventure.  The stories I heard growing up of his years in the service and his time as a pilot always seemed larger than life to me.  To become a pilot at the time when Louis did required courage and a sense of adventure, he had both in full.

 

I felt like he entrusted me with that spirit when he and grandma invited me to join them on the Alaska portion of their great American road trip.  I was only 7 years old and could barely find Alaska on a map. To me it was the most adventurous thing anyone I knew had ever done.  For 6 weeks we journeyed the Alaskan Highway, having snowball fights on glaciers, playing catch at midnight, and exploring the wilderness that defines Alaska.

 

I remember one time we were driving along the side of a mountain looking for a gas station.  From where we were we could see down into a town at the bottom of a valley.  Figuring they must have a gas station we turned off on the next road assuming it led to the town.  Well the road quickly left pavement behind but we just kept going.  Then the gravel road turned to dirt and the trees started getting closer and closer to the side of the RV, but we kept forging ahead.  Finally we got to the point where we could not go two feet further.  There was no place to even turn around and Louis said, “Well I guess we better go back.”  Grandma and I got out of the RV and started helping him back up the road we had followed until we could finally turn around and continue down the highway.

 

To me that story exemplifies his adventurous spirit.  He would take a risk, turning off the well traveled road, and he would keep going until he hit a wall.  At which point he wouldn’t be upset, he wouldn’t get scared or anxious, he would just back out and try something else.

 

Another one of the things I always appreciated about granddad was his trust in others.  It was on that same trip the he entrusted me with his 38 foot RV.  Every night when we would pull into a campground I would hop outside and guide him into our spot.  It was a crazy site I’m sure to see a little 7 year old directing his granddad on where to park the RV but it taught me that I could be trusted with valuable things.  He showed me in a small way that I was a capable and most importantly that he trusted me.  I think it was experiences like that that helped me to journey into the unknown of adolescence with the confidence I did.

 

But looking back the thing I most valued in granddad, and I actually didn’t realize this till the last few days, was his comfort with himself.  In a world that is so full of insecurity and a desire to be someone different, Lou seemed absolutely at home in his skin.  From his sense of humor, telling every waitress, every time we went out to dinner, on every single occasion that he only had half a stomach, to the way he so easily embraced others much different than himself.  It was his security in his own identity, in the person whom God created, that allowed him to face the world and others with such ease.

 

As I continue in my life I hope I can become a little bit more like him.  I hope that I will never turn down an adventure, that I will trust others, and live generously, but mostly I hope to be able to become comfortable in my own skin in the way granddad was.  I’m lucky to have had someone plant those seeds in my life and as they grow and bloom I will remember the man who planted them.  And for that I will always be thankful for my granddad.

 

Thank you.

Invisible Children

Friday evening I had the opportunity to host a screening of the latest Invisible Children film and do an interview with one of their staff members.  If you are unfamiliar with this amazing organization, they have almost singlehandedly brought to light the horrible atrocities being committed by the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda.  Started by 3 guys and their video camera when they travelled to Sudan and ended up stumbling upon thousands of children fleeing the LRA in Uganda this organization has grown and raised millions of dollars to rescue and rehabilitate child soldiers and worked tirelessly to bring about peace in central Africa.

To get involved in some of their latest efforts check out their website here.  They are looking for students to raise money through their schools, all of us to sign a petition asking President Obama to act on the issue, and of course we can view their great films.

Jacqueline Novogratz on Patient Capitalism

People often ask me, especially since I've started school, so what do you want to do?  I try and explain saying I'm interested in how business can be used to create positive social change.  So to help me explain I have the above video.  That is what I want to do. 

I think the Acumen Fund is one of the most ground-breaking, revolutionary organizations out there and I'd love to work for them once I get my MPP/MBA.  If you haven't heard of them, and haven't watched the above video, they are a non-profit venture capitalist firm for the poor.  They provide business guidance and capital to impoverished entrepreneurs and companies.

If you'd like to learn more check out their website, blog, and follow them on Twitter.

Thoughts on U2 at Soldier Field 9/13/09

That's right.  I was there.  Second night of their North American tour.  Second night at Soldier Field.  It was a truly epic evening.  Rock deities U2 descended upon Chicago in their spaceship of glory and light and put on a show that would make you swear heaven had indeed come to earth.  I would not have been surprised if at the end of the evening the stage of their spaceship came to life and they flew out of the stadium before our very eyes.

It was an amazing night to say that least.

Being my first time seeing U2 live I came with pretty high expectations.  When people seriously throw around the terms "Best Rock Band in the World" and "Greatest Performers" it would be easy for your expectations to be lifted to unattainable levels.  U2 not only met but succeeded all previous expectations.  They are born performers and can make a football stadium feel like the biggest party in the city.

And technically it was an amazing feat.  The sound quality was superb.  The staging, fantastic.  The raising, lowering, coming apart and back together again, 360 degree screen, ingenious.

While there were a couple slower moments and some things felt like they fell a little flat it was by far the best show I've seen.  Standing with 60,000 plus people screaming along with Where the Streets Have No Name and all our partying to I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy tonight is just a pseudo-spiritual experience.  And I have to say we had straight up church when he bust out Old Irish hymns and Amazing Grace.

It was a great night at Soldier Field, one I won't quickly forget.  How about you?  Were you there?  Do you have any U2 stories?

Day One

Day one of grad school was today.  I guess it was day one of pre-grad school to be specific.  It was the first day of my 3 week math camp.  And yes they call it that.  I was happy that I wasn't singled out as a mistake or told I received my acceptance letter by accident.  (I have talked to many graduate school students and I think we all share that fear.)

The class itself was pretty cool.  We were in an old wood paneled lecture hall with an amazing math teacher enthusiastically talking about algebra and the fascinating life of real numbers and it began to sink in that this is what life will be like for the next couple years.  I'm excited and feeling a little overwhelmed.  This is definitely a new adventure for me and one that I don't feel entirely comfortable in.  I mean the people I'm going to school with our smart.  Harvard graduates.  Campaign staff.  Even a member of the Moldovan foreign service.  I'm more than a little intimidated.

And it's been a long time since I've done anything other than church work.  I've been surrounded by Christians for a long time and I'm not sure what it will be like to live in this environment.  I have all of the (I think) normal fears of being accepted and making friends.  (If all of you who pray could be praying that I make friends I'd greatly appreciate it.)

All in all I'm very excited about this amazing opportunity and I know I can't project today's fears upon my entire graduate school experience and I know this will be an amazing opportunity.  But for now I'm going to sit in the library and try and be still and just live in this moment.  Because this first day will never happen again.

Busy Busy Busy

I've neglected my blog.  I'm sorry.  It's just that my actual life has kept me from my virtual one. I know.  Crazy.

In the last week

• Tovah and I celebrated our 4th anniversary.
• I participated in Willow Chicago's awesome Luminocity experience.
• We had Brittany and Nathan over for some Arnold Palmer on the porch.
• I read.
• Tovah and I tried Irazu for the first time.
• I had some iCream.
• A bunch of friends had dollar burgers at Duffy's.
• I sat by Monroe Harbor and thought.
• Tovah and I left for, and arrived in, Cape Cod.
• And other stuff I just can't remember right now.

So I'm sorry.  I'll try and not let my life get in the way of my blog.  Please forgive me.

Transitions

My life is in transition and transitions are hard.  I find that there is always this sense of mourning as things change.  One thing is usually dying or being left behind and with this transition that’s been very apparent.  From the time I was in high school the trajectory of my life pointed towards full-time, paid ministry.  I enjoyed volunteering with my church and became increasingly involved both there and at my Christian high school.  I would lead worship, teach on weekends, and was on more teams and committees than I can remember.  Even as recently as a year and a half ago I thought I was going to start a church on the north side of Chicago.

 

In the past 18 months though, all of that has changed.

 

Now I found myself leaving a perfect job, one that I could have only dreamed of and getting ready to enter school with no intention on pursuing full-time, paid ministry again.

 

And while new dreams are very exciting and I cannot wait to sit in the classroom letting go of old dreams is hard and requires mourning.  Only thing is, I’m not very good at it.

 

For the last couple of months I’ve felt this sadness inside of me, like a fog enveloping my soul.  I’ve seen it rolling in and not known what to do about it.  And now I find myself completely hidden inside of this fog and I want to escape.

 

So I left for Connecticut.

 

Now that might seem like a strange move for those of you who don’t know I’m from there.  I lived in Connecticut from the time I turned 8 till just before my 22^nd birthday.  I have a wonderful church back here that frustrates me in the way family does.  But for whatever reason it was here that I wanted to go to sort through this transition and find my way out of the fog.

 

I think it’s important to return to somewhere familiar to sort your way through a new situation.

 

I’ve gotten a myriad of reactions from people who I’ve told that I’m leaving ministry, from wonderful support to shock but that’s to be expected.  It was here that my wings for ministry really grew.

 

But I think the reason I came back is that it’s good to be reminded where I’ve been.  It’s good to be loved by people who have known you for a long time.  It helps to put the present in it’s proper place.

 

So my week here is just beginning and I’m not sure what the next few days will bring but I hope I find my way out of this fog and my soul finds peace.

You Know It's Summit Time When...

• Large portions of the parking lot are being re-surfaced and the lines re-painted.
• The grounds crew is meticulously and speedily trimming hedges, cutting the grass, and positioning every stone in its place.
• The energy on campus begins to buzz.
• Mentions of Chicago start popping up in the tweets of the likes of Dave Gibbons & Donald Miller.
• You're tempted to supplement your Willow income by scalping your tickets on Craigslist.

Tomorrow kicks off The Willow Creek Association 2009 Leadership Summit.  This is by far my favorite event of the year.  I've been going since I was in high school and it continually provides me with the fuel I need to make it through another year.  The other thing I love about the Leadership Summit is that Tovah likes it too.  I love getting to sit beside her as our minds are expanded and hearts stretched.

This year is going to be a powerhouse of a Summit.  I'm really glad they've upped the number of speakers and gone to more of a dialogue and roundtable format.  I think this maximizes the time well.

This year I'm most excited to hear from Gary Hamel, a professor at the London School of Management, and David Gergen, Presidential advisory and professor at Harvard, though there is no one in this years line-up that I'm not looking forward to hear from.

I'll try to get as many posts up as possible during the Summit but I'm actually helping out some on Friday and so I'm not sure how much I'll be able too.  It's going to be a great couple days and if you're attending I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

Jealousy

So I have to admit I'm struggling with some jealousy today.  This week is the TED Global Conference at Oxford.  I love TED.  I love the idea behind it, I love the talks, speakers, and the free exchange of ideas between brilliant people.  I hope one day to make it to TED maybe even speak at TED.

I'm actually very jealous of Erwin McManus who is at TED.  I don't know if he is speaking or just attending but I'm very jealous.  He's actually throwing up some occasional tweets which you can catch here.  For a running blog of the event go here.  For photos here.  And if TED is completely unfamiliar with you play around on their website.

Weekend in Review

This was a busy weekend.  Saturday morning I ran 10 miles with my marathon training team.  This marathon training has been pushing me but so far I've been able to keep up.  I've had to embrace the fact that I'm not a fast runner, I can do long distances at about a 10:30 but you know what for someone who has never run before I'm pretty proud.

Then Saturday afternoon was the Axis Experience & BBQ.  It was great, we did like 3 songs of worship, some announcements, and took off to hang outside.  

Sunday was my favorite day though.  I chilled because it had been such a long week and Tovah and I slept in, went down to the all Willow Chicago picnic, and sat by the water.  I love watching all the boats come in and out of Monroe harbor.  It is definitely a goal of mine to befriend someone with a boat.  Then we meandered around Millennium Park and made our way over to the riverwalk where we grabbed a drink and some appetizers.  It was so nice.  Tovah and I haven't been able to connect much lately cause I've been so busy so it was nice to have a whole day together.

News

As many of you might recall I had a period of about 8 months last year where I was unemployed.  During that time God did a lot of work in me, reshaping many of my values and freeing me up to dream about my future.  For years I had been on a ministry track.  For as long as I could remember the momentum of my life lead to full-time ministry.  Last summer that changed.  The track had become a rut and I finally felt like I could do something else.  So I began to explore a lot of different possibilities and examined some things that motivated me and I ended up applying to the University of Chicago's Harris School of Public Policy to get my Master's of Public Policy.

Shortly thereafter I ended up getting the job at Willow and since the chances of acceptance into the University of Chicago were so slim I didn't think much of it.  But about two months into my time at Willow I received a letter of acceptance.  I spent some time praying about what to do and it became clear that school was to be my next step.  

So as of the end of this month I'll be leaving my position at Willow to pursue my Master's degree.  I'm really excited about this opportunity and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I have a 10 year plan.  I have no idea where I'll be, I have no idea where this will lead but I know it's my next step.

I would greatly appreciate all of your prayers as I begin this next portion of my journey.

My Smart Wife

This weekend Tovah graduated from Northwestern's Family Institute with her Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy.  I'm so proud of her.  She makes such a great therapist.  Well I guess I'm assuming that because I never actually see her do any therapy and wouldn't even know what to look for.  But, the people that have seen her do therapy and do know what they're talking about say she's a great therapist.

Both her parents and her sister flew into town as well as my mom.  It was great to have everyone here and we ate at some amazing restaurants, visited the Modern Wing at the Art Institute, and hung out at our new apartment.  It's also really nice that our families get along so well.

The above picture is me, my mom, and Tovah at her graduation ceremony.

Oh The Places You'll Go

Today begins the Arts Conference, Wonder, at Willow Creek Church.  This has been one of my favorite conferences over the years and I'm looking forward to sneaking into a session or two today.  What is most odd though is how un-excited I am.  I remember coming out to the conference a few years ago with the worship team from my old church and being so excited and longing to be on staff here.  And now I am.  I even remember thinking then how I wanted to have some big computer and do work in the hallway outside of the sessions.  And guess what, that's exactly what happened this morning.

It's always interesting when you realize you've arrived at one of your dreams.  I never thought I'd end up on staff at Willow, especially in the kind of position I have.  This is quite truly a dream come true.  So today I'm going to try and rest in that.  Rest in the fact that God has blessed me so much and I have accomplished some great things.

Weekend in Review

The lack of postings has been largely due to the fact that Tovah and I moved and don't have internet at the new place yet.  So I grab it here and there, at work, the library, and our new cool independent coffee shop down the street.  It's also been one of those crazy busy weeks where it's over and you feel like you've just run a marathon.  Which it looks like I'll be doing in October.

One of the highlights of the week though was the Axis Experience on Friday night.  It's the time where all the different communities we have at Axis, Willow Creek's 20th something and college ministry, gather for worship and teaching.  My friend and old intern buddy Devon did an amazing job teaching, Brandon led worship, and Amy put together a beautiful mosaic.

I took a bunch of pictures some of which are posted below and the rest I'll work on getting on my flickr account before too long.

Call & Response

Sorry I haven't been blogging much this week.  All my energy has gone into getting ready for our screenings of Call & Response this weekend.  For the last few months I've been working on getting ready and it was so great to have it finally here and it went amazing.

Friday night we had over 730 people here at Willow to see the film and my interview with Justin Dillon, the man behind the movie.  It was a powerful night.  I think for many of the people there it was the first time there eyes were opened to the realities of modern day slavery and hundreds of people engaged the next steps we had set up.

My prayer going into the weekend was that it would be a course altering experience.  That people around Willow would have their heart broken for this horrendous reality and that all of the horsepower of Willow would get behind this issue.  I was surprised though by how much it affected me.  I've heard many of these stories and read the books and seen the movies but something changed in me this weekend.  I need to do more and it was so great to spend time with Justin and others who are out fighting for justice and hear their stories and see how I could get involved.

So thanks to all of you who made it out, it meant a lot to me and I'm sure I'll have some more stories coming up about how I engage the fight for justice.

Without Words

The last couple of months I've found myself coming to God without words.  I've opened up my journal and not known what to write.  It's like my soul has dried up and I have nothing to give, I just sit there.  It got to the point where I started feeling bad about it.  I mean when we pray we're supposed to talk right?

But lately I've been thinking otherwise.  It's not that words are bad, just not always necessary.  I feel like I'm bringing my whole self to God and I can't put that into words.  I've brought myself hoping to connect spirits.  I mean isn't that what prayer should be about?  Us connecting our spirit to God's?  

So if you find yourself going to God without words be encouraged.  You're not alone.  Sometimes it's hard to put our spirits into language and you just need to hope that something mystical takes over.  I mean it is pretty mystical, us connecting our spirits to God's.  But I think that's what happens.  So today as you pray, if you have words, let them flow, but if you are without words rest in the promise that God is with you and will always refresh your soul.

A Beautiful Weekend

The last few days have been really wonderful.  Friday night and Saturday morning we had an Axis South Barrington leaders retreat down here in the city.  It was great to get away and pray with our leaders about our city and communities and I got to do some teaching on how we can help make exploring faith safe for people of all backgrounds.  The place the retreat was at is gorgeous, see the picture on the right.

Then last night Axis Chicago took part in the Feed My Starving Children food pack.  Feed My Starving Children is one of the most amazing organizations I've ever heard of fighting hunger.  Basically they come and set up assembly stations at your church, school, wherever and you pack hundreds of these boil in a bag meals that contain rice, soy, veggies, and chicken.  It's a really fun serving opportunity that has very measurable results.  Last year Willow fed hundreds of kids all year.

I tend to be kind of competitive and so I really drove the table I was at and we packed 1,296 of these meals, 36 boxes full.  Just to give you an idea most groups only do about 20.  Haha I know I'm bragging but it was a lot of fun.

Then today kicked off the Celebration of Hope at Willow.  A time where we focus on the needs of the world's most impoverished.  I'm very excited for the coming weeks and seeing all that God does.  It'll be great.

The Gage

This past weekend Tovah and I had dinner at The Gage down on Michigan Avenue with my dad.  We went there because our friend Katy does all of their pastries and we wanted to see where she worked.  It was one of the best meals I've had in a long time.  We started off with the fondue and then moved on to a ceasar salad.  For my main course I had a delicious fish special, my dad had the elk saddle, and Tovah had risotto with vegetables.  We all raved about our food.

Then came dessert, Katy's territory.  She came out and brought us several desserts.  A delicious passion fruit creme brulee, some fresh fruit, and an absolutely amazing peanut butter ice cream with a chocolate cake and caramelized banana.

It was a lot of fun and it was great to see where Katy worked.  I'd definitely recommend checking out The Gage if you're looking for a delicious, hearty gastro-pub.

Catching Up

Wow this past week was crazy.  Sorry I was a horrible blogger.  But work was really busy and it seemed like every night I had something going on.  This past weekend was the Axis Experience and so that ate up my weekend but it was great.  We've been talking about sexuality (why does every church seem to talk about sex in February or March?) and we had an amazing service where 4 people from our community shared vulnerably about their sexual past.  It was a very powerful service that I think took a lot of people by surprise.

Then tonight was great.  Our community group had a Seder dinner together.  The seder meal commemorates Passover and it was really fun to do that.  It's good to be reminded that I'm a part of something much bigger than myself.  That I'm part of a grand story.  It was cool.  It was nice too because we combined the two hubs that meet in Lincoln Park.  We had all started at Tovah's and my place back in October then got too big so we started a second one a few blocks away so it was fun to see some old faces and some new faces.

Well that's all for now, I'll be back soon.

A Touristy Chicago Day

Tovah's old college roommate and my fellow blogger, Lisa, is in town for a few days and today I got to spend some time hanging out and doing touristy things.  We started off the day with lunch at Manny's Deli.  Manny's is Obamas lunch spot when he's in the city and so we thought we'd give it a shot.  It was fun, the food was alright, but overall unimpressive.

We then headed across the street to Binny's Beverage Depot so Lisa could get some local beer for her hubby.  First off it was the nicest Binny's I have ever seen in my life.  It had a lounge for tastings, two floors, and even a small deli for meats and cheeses.  When we got in we were asked if we were there for the signing and we were confused but it turns out Dan Akroyd was there doing a signing for his two wines and vodka brands.

Then we closed the night with Piccolo Sogno, a wonderful italian restaurant in the Gold Coast.  Lisa and I had the lasagna and Tovah had the bass.  I was so impressed.  The food was really amazing and the service was really great.

All in all it was a delicious, fun day in the city.